They say we aren’t supposed to compare our kids. Who the fuck is they any way? The internet? The mom’s who panic at dr google? You know, web MD says comparing your kids to other kids causes cancer! Is it some one who wrote a book? Well.. I write a blog, that makes me just as good right? So I’m going to talk about how much I LOVE comparing kids. My kids. Your kids to my kids. My twins to my singleton. It’s human nature! In fact, we literally would have no out line of what is normal and not normal if some one wasn’t comparing every ones kids and then giving us a list of approved ways to compare them.
So I’m here to say it’s normal. I do it. I LOVE doing it!
I love seeing the difference in the twins. Right now (at 6 months adjusted, almost 7 months) one is crawling backwards. and the other one is saying Mama, or mom, to me with full understanding of what she is saying. When I compare that to random kids online that some one has put into a list of what’s normal, she is extremely advanced and doesn’t know what she is saying. Some times she is just playing with her M sounds, and some times she is looking at me and smiling and saying it it. Does it worry me that Twin A has no interest in talking? Absolutely not! She is making great strides in other departments. What I find fascinating is that when the twins were much younger I would always say that Twin B is the more physical of the two and Twin A is the more social, but they are proving me wrong. They have gone back and forth on that!
Now here is one thing that that makes comparing my twins a little more fun. We have a cousin (who we are relatively close with) who has a baby 10 days older than ours! Now, I believe she was also born at 42 weeks, which makes a difference. Mine are born at 37 weeks, So we have a developmental months difference, but they are 10 days apart to the normal eye. And seeing all three of them is really neat. Now, there is the most obvious, size difference. Baby Livy (not mine) is 7 months in 12-18 month clothes. My twins are almost 7 months in 3 month clothes. Both are exclusively breast fed. Yes, this worries me a little bit. But absolutely no one in my family has compared their size and has been very supportive of all of us!
I notice Baby Livy makes sounds similar to baby A. Baby Livy can sit up very well, but can’t crawl and never liked tummy time. My girls both are great at tummy time and trying to move, they can sit, but not too well. I wonder what made Livy want to sit? and my girls turn stiff as a board when you sit them. But again, no one, is judging the fact that my babies can’t do it, or her baby can’t do it. They all develop differently.
But my favorite part of this story was from Christmas. Because of the size difference in the three babies baby Livy was gifted very different things than my twins. Baby Livy was gifted dolls, and we got books and (much needed) clothes. There may be two reasons for this, One is that we asked for clothes, and we are all big readers. Two may be the size difference. My twins look like one month olds size wise. But I loved seeing that they were gifted such very different things.
But here’s the thing about that, I had no idea a 6/7 month old played with dolls…. I just thought it was some thing they got for nostalgia or some thing. But baby Livy LOVED her dolls! She smiled and grabbed them and mashed them into her mouth. She was rough with them, you know, because she is a baby. And the next day my friend gave us twin dollies. And the way the twins acted was completely different than baby livy. The twins smiled at their dolls, but they were gentle. They touched their faces. They were gentle. They treated them like their sister. Except they usually try to jab their sisters eyes, the dolls eyes were safe!
But that is why I find it fascinating to compare other kids. You just can’t get upset when some thing isn’t going perfect. Every thing about life, and having twins is easier with a positive perspective. Positively looking at differences in kids is very fun. Trying to figure out why one may do some thing the other doesn’t is fun. But you can’t beat yourself up when one isn’t doing some thing.