If you ever get overzealous about any thing… don’t fucking let it be bath time.

The days was long. And I was tired and sore from wearing the babies every where. I was alone with the twins. I thought to myself, “self, I could really use a glorious relaxing bath.” Now I bathe with my girls all the time. My husband holds one, and I take the other to the tub. We swim, play, bond. But looked at my glorious babes, who were nursing for far too long, probably due to boredom. And I decided to give it a try.

So I set the girls down, and I went up to fill up the tub. I had two seats, so what could go wrong? A lot. But I was confident. I was excited! I was stupid…

So I get in my tub with my girls and things are good! Until my lovely ladies who love kicking in the bath start to kick. And with each kick their little butts slide farther down the seats and their faces closer to the water.  So I pick up a baby to play with. Because playing with a baby in the bath is magical, but it wasn’t. I was too busy watching the baby in the seat. And pulling her back up, clumsily and one handed, to keep her chin away from the water. There was no fun play.  It was horrible.

So to fix this, I let out some water. and  I get rid of one of the two seats and I grab the other baby. Now I have two slippery, wiggly, happy, kicking, slimy babies. One in each hand. At one point I was literally holding a baby with my legs. In five inches of water. Yep, the only thing that was wet was my ass, and my slippery babes.

So we didn’t have fun. I mean they might have, but I was too worried to notice. We sure-as-fuck didn’t relax! But we all left clean and safe. Never again though, well, maybe in a few months.  See this shit? I’m all ready making bad decisions again!

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