The places you’ll go and the people you’ll meet when you are the carrier of four tiny feet.

And you will meet every one.

Having twins is like having a small side show following you around. No amount of reading on this prepared me for people yelling from their vehicles on more than one occasion. I have an 8 year old who loves to talk to abso-fucking-lootly every person who will talk to him, so shopping with him takes an extra ten minutes. Shopping with twins takes an extra eternity, no joke. And no matter what you say to excuse yourself, people always seem offended, even if you have spent five minutes of your day talking to them, after they saw you turn around from spending five minutes with another group of people.

When you announce you will have twins any one who has ever met some one with twins will have to tell you about it. And for me, any one who ever miscarried a twin or knew of some one who did had to tell me. 10 different people, most of them strangers. I didn’t open my second car seat till the girls were 34 weeks along, and I cried when I did because every one had me so scared. This continues after the twins are born, some how, some way, you will find out about all the twins and twin parents around you. Some will be compelled to bring you their kids, even if they are 30. And some will just make comments as they walk past you. I wear my twins, and if I am not approached by a twin parent I will always hear, “ugh, we didn’t have those when my babies were little” I would love to tell them that they did, and they have them in 3rd world countries.  But parents with twins near your kids age will usually praise each other and move on.

I love when little old ladies ask me weird things, they seem to have questions no one else does, and some times a life story to share. I’ve had one stumble around trying to ask if the girls can latch themselves on me. I had one ask how much milk I make, which is 1.5 liters. Now the big question you get is if you are tired. And if you don’t say yes some will down right argue with you about it.

The normal questions are people prying into your sex life. Yes, they will ask if you had IVF. Asking how you had the babies, if you were induced or had a c-section, how much they weighed, what are their names, how far along did the pregnancy go, did you have complications. How are they fed, do they use pacifiers, who is bigger, can you tell them apart, do they act the same, does one not like to cuddle, why do you or don’t you dress them alike. They will all have an opinion on size. These questions are a normal interaction with any one. If you get really lucky the conversation will be upgraded to people insisting there is a boy and a girl (if that isn’t what you have). Seriously, I will put bows on my babies just to avoid this and people still insist I have a boy and a girl.

Everyone has an opinion on twins. Yes, every one includes your family. All comments, I’m sure, are meant to be innocent. But they get grating. “double trouble” will be said by almost every one and often yelled at you from men as you walk by them. I answer with “double blessing” but I would like to spout some thing about their kids being a pain in the ass doesn’t mean mine is. “one’s going to be cuddly and the other won’t want any thing to do with you”…. did you just say my kid won’t like me? But most family will just be concerned for how you will be able to handle them. And if you live in a small town like I do, people you have never met will start offering to bring you dinner just to sneak a peak at the babies.

And then of course there are the people with their foot in their mouth, weather or not they realize it.  It’s often times easier to answer people with the social norm to avoid certain interactions. People will make comments about how much easier it must be with one, and then take it too far. Insisting you could only enjoy your baby with one baby and how miserable and helpless you must be.  I had one gentleman actually blurt out “oh my god, you mean, you actually like having two??”  How could I not love my babies? And even if I was struggling, I didn’t have a choice, so I might as well make the best of it.

When you wear your babies people can’t touch them as easy. But they will try. Every one will grab their feet. Which upset mine for a while. Kids will try to kiss them. Adults will try and kiss them. Some will even stick their fingers in your babies mouths.  You are like a side show, without the bars separating the spectators from the main attraction.

 

But it’s now life. Enjoy your indirect moment in the sun. Because their time as infants is so short, and in turn, so is this. Once they are older they don’t seem to attract people as much.

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